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guy:

omg ok so i was at my locker and i overheard a guy talking about how some other guy kept making eye contact with him and the guy was like “i think he’s gay, that’s so fuckin weird” and a girl who was getting her stuff beside the guy was like “yea that’s very weird considering you’re ugly as fuck” and she walked away like a bad bitch and everyone’s hands went over their mouths and it was the greatest experience ever

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

"You love me. Real or not real?”
I tell him, “Real."
-Suzanne Collins (via kushandwizdom)